Hello!

A series of what I consider serendipitous moments have led to me talking about a thing I was considering not talking about: finally watching Andor. But suffice it to say I have feelings, and that's what the newsletter's for. So here's some hot tea!

"Don't you want to fight these bastards for real?"

I woke up at four o'clock this morning so I could vote.

It's general election day here in Trinidad and Tobago—and in Canada as well, so godspeed to the North. Both territories are wrestling with the same electoral question, a question that has been tumbling over nation-states since the late-2010s, a question with a definitive wrong answer that will shape national and international politics for decades to come:

which is better—to have functional (if somewhat incurious and under-ambitious) good governance however you can get it, or to give way to strongman nationalism that will disenfranchise and harm your neighbours because it sounds strong and deliberate?

Without putting too fine a point on it, one leader in each of these national elections hasn't simply been spouting Trump talking points (among some even darker stuff)—they've gone out of their way to admit they admire his technique. Trump's boisterousness has cast an obvious shadow over international politics, and some of the world's least tactful politicians have therefore learned that if they can keep in key with his song, some folks will dance to it. So when major party political leaders in both nations are making a show of sounding just like Trump—when they are more equipped to demonstrate that they know the words to the song than they know how to govern—there is an obvious cause for concern.

In a surely totally unrelated note: at the behest of Friend of the Newsletter noelle.dev, I have finally finished season one of Andor.

I obviously meant to do it ages ago, if it weren't for being busy. (To demonstrate my busy-ness, I would like to state as an aside that I am technically too busy to be writing a newsletter today.) After months upon years of hearing good things about it, I guess I just needed a push (which, for my critical nerd brain, often really just means 'someone to ramble at about it after each individual episode'.)

Reader, I adore it. You knew I would, surely. It is in fact doing a damn good job of not merely being an observation of fascism and resistance in the abstract, but asking meaningful questions about the scope and impact of the Empire that are so novel and have such revealing answers that they actually end up putting so much of the original trilogy's villainy in somewhat sharper relief. Fascism is a beast too powerful to observe itself, but no less fearsome, and the ways in which Andor navigates the inherent dark absurdity at the heart of its governance, and how much is required to struggle against it, is actually inspiring.

And I mean inspiring.

As artists, especially science fiction writers and readers, we love to talk a big game about how media can be the catalyst for greater social change. Well, this is that: a popular streaming service side-story/prequel in one of the most bankable franchises of the past half-century, a story about resistance in the face of interstellar tyranny from the perspective of a man so averse to being a revolutionary that the very suggestion puts him on edge. And it came out in 2022—precisely the moment when one would say it is important to be this inspired.

Around the point where I had finished episode 5 or 6, I paused Disney+ and spoke to Noelle over Discord. I suddenly had a burning question. Arguably an insensitive or over-assuming one, but it came to mind, so I had to ask it.

It was something akin to, "Well, what the hell happened?"

What happened to everyone who was watching this in 2022, only twenty-one months removed from January 6th, witnessing the growth of militia activity, the radicalisation of young white men, and the consistent attempts to reduce the credibility of the election alongside a show technically giving us a literal manifesto for radical action, and not feel… you know… inspired?

I can't possibly tell how presumptuous I am being in the heat of that moment. I'm riding the high of good media. It's far too easy for me, in that moment, to argue that this show owes us something precisely because of the moment we're currently in—that not getting to the future that I want is a failure either of our media's capacity to compel us or of our media literacy's capacity to be so compelled. But I want—I have—to so strongly believe that after hearing so many people speak so sharply about how this show represents a commitment to anti-fascist storytelling, that consuming that messaging can trigger something in us. In me. That it should have, as they say, a long time ago.

Andor is upsettingly good at setting up things that are so nuanced that they are just as likely to trigger overwhelming hope as they are to daunt you. It is the story of scrappers just hoping to stay alive learning day by day that kyriarchy will find ever more surreal ways to ruin your life for no good reason. It is the story of disparate bands of revolutionaries struggling to find consensus and coming so close to destroying themselves in the process, but in the glints of shared language, pulling off powerfully daring successes. It is the story of hungry social climbers willing to commit to absolute cruelties and climb over their even more dastardly superiors for a slice of the power they see other people wield, and sycophantic subalterns just as hungry and just as willing to call their lust for power and validation the same as having ideals. It is the story of people with actual political power and truly noble will boxed in by the tragic realisation that if they stop playing the game that other people make of that power, they will soon have too little to do good work. And so much of it is the story of people struggling with how much striving against the consequences of fascist leadership are draining and baffling and torturous and painful, but in the windows of victory true beauty can be found.

In particular, it's moving to see the story of Cassian Andor, a man not at all motivated by revolutionary end goals, not only learn praxis but reveal that he had good protocols all along and is simply bringing them to bear for goals larger than his own immediate survival, because that survival—that liberation—is one of the rewards of that work. Ultimately, that's the kind of protagonist I imagine people need specifically to escape the moment that was the past Trump administration—someone who admits they do not have the time or the acumen or the hope necessary to be an activist, but can not only be taught, but learn that they knew so many of the moves already by simply working to stay alive, and learn that everyone leveraging those tools together is what makes a movement.

The truth is that I had the strong feeling in part because a part of me is Cassian Andor. And not even any of the cool parts. I want to think I know the ropes, but I am also afraid. I am also just trying to make sure I have money in my pocket and can get away when things get gnarly. I am also afraid of being on the other end of a cruel officer's nightstick. I also am afraid of what happens if I stick my neck out for people who don't even have any reason to trust me.

But the work happens anyway. It moves me because it indicates that it's at least someone's job to find the vulnerabilities in systems too large to observe themselves and stick a blaster there too quick for it to cry out. And I don't know what part of my work is that—as much as I would love to believe poems can change the world all on their own, mostly because that's most of what I have to give, I'm sure you need more than this.

Voting is the very least that I can do. I want to know what else is there. And I am no pilot, but I must be able to offer something. But gods, the empire is gaining so much ground and I want to know what thing I can do to start weakening it.

By the time I got to the end of season one, to that wonderful moment of Maarva's funeral monologue, I think I finally got the thing I needed most, in its own way the total opposite of what I thought it would give me—just the reassurance that the fear, the doubt, the lack of action points, is real, but that there is something you can do, even just speaking to the fear aloud. Even just reminding each other that we can make it out together, if we refuse to ignore what is wrong, if we wake up early, and we pick up our bricks.

This electoral period is going to ask a lot of many of us in so many spaces. It is going to ask what we are willing to do to ensure our neighbours are not disappeared without cause. It is going to ask what we are willing to do to defend our trans and queer siblings, our partners and our elderly, when their bodies become battlegrounds. It is going to ask what we are willing to do when violence becomes a tool of silencing. And we cannot do everything, and we should be willing to admit that we are afraid.

I think that's the part I missed: that Andor isn't afraid to tell us that people are afraid. That they are in doubt, that they are in pain, that they have second thoughts and even third thoughts, that their best strategies still have consequences. But the work happens anyway, because there is worse on the side of refusal.

I woke up at four o'clock this morning so I could vote, and that is the very least I could have done.

Be patient with me: I want to know that I will wake up early for the things that are actual work.

Tasting Notes

As a minor note that there is more media one can consume to remind themselves of what fascism—and glimpses of resistance—can look like, Friend of the Newsletter Crystal Huff edited the anthology Recognize Fascism that is undeniably worth your time. Yes, I am in it, but my story is truly the least of the collection, and my hope in recommending it that it does continue pouring fuel on the fire that we are witnessing here, and that it turns into the change we all hope for, however we can make it so.

A reminder that this newsletter, as well as the rest of my writing and game design work, thrives with your support. My Patreon is where you can find snippets of new TTRPG projects, exclusive writing drafts, and more:

Today's Tunes

Aesop Rock | Checkers

Let me get this straight: not only is Aesop Rock dropping another album less than two years after Integrated Tech Solutions, but Lupe Fiasco has a feature on it? I am excited.

'Checkers' is solely the first single, but it already speaks to me on the same sonic level as ITS and Spirit World Field Guide before it, and I'm curious to explore whether there is in fact a throughline between them as I can already sense in the first two. But also: new Aes is always a good feeling for me.

Jaykae ft. The Streets | Hooligan

Spotify recommended this to me a few weeks ago because it knows I love The Streets, and nothing indicates his capacity as an MC as powerfully as the dangerous honesty of his hook:

You want proof? You want proof?
Give a man a mask, he'll tell the truth
You want truth? You want truth?
Run up your flag on the roof

But every time I've heard Jaykae in collaboration with The Streets, he was the most fire voice on the track, and this is a very strong example.

A good job will take you round the world
Ain't got a clue where a gun'll take ya

What's On TV?

The Librarians: The Next Chapter

It finally has a date! May 25th! It also… has a new channel?

Maybe about a year ago the deal was that this was allegedly supposed to come out on The CW, which I was very excited for. Suffice it to say that The CW's new ownership under Nexstar has severely altered its identity in a way that makes it feel cold and sterile in comparison. Once upon a time The CW was the place where fandom, especially fandoms made up of the very young, were eating: Buffy was its legacy, and it went barreling from there all the way down to Supernatural and the Arrowverse. Now, they're barely producing any originals, a large portion of their catalogue is reality content, and the last SFF show they had—Superman & Lois, the final vestige of the Arrowverse—wrapped up a year ago.

The idea of bringing back The Librarians on The CW felt like it was an attempt at resuscitation that is no longer possible. I don't say this to be cruel, but given that the end result is that the only other places to get strongly fandom-connecting SFF television media are almost all streaming-only, I can only hope TNT is eagerly marketing to grab hold of any audience it can, especially people who have never seen The Librarians before.

Leverage: Redemption S3

It's back! In much the same way that I've been energized by Andor, seeing my favourite bad guys come back for another season of putting the worst white-collar criminals to shame has been very revitalising. So far, I've been incredibly curious about the subtle change the show has made from showing how the wealthy have created the loopholes that allow them to exploit the working class, instead reiterating that many of those loopholes have always been a part of how the game is played. It has so far given Harry Wilson so much more to do, and I'm curious to see how his character continues to evolve as a result.

Sherlock & Daughter

While I would otherwise take this moment to state that Watson, which I mentioned a few newsletters back, is currently coming to a head as it nears its season finale and has already been confirmed for a second, and is therefore worth your time, I want to take this moment to have feelings about the other Doyle adaptation that has emerged in the current television season, this time actually on The CW.

Sherlock & Daughter is promising almost entirely on its two leads: I like David Thewlis, and while I know very little about Blu Hunt's work, there is something inherently radical about an Indigenous young woman being the window through which the setting tries to merge the adjacent temporal cultures of the late Victorian/early Edwardian era and the American frontier period. I would otherwise be wary of the obvious initial premise: Amelia Rojas, played by Hunt, travels from California all the way to Baker Street to convince the great detective Sherlock Holmes to solve her mother's murder, on only the encouragement that said mother insists she was once Holmes' lover and the only man with which she's bedded. Suffice it to say that questions about Sherlock Holmes' sex life and offspring matter to me so very little after being spoiled by Elementary, but I get what the show is trying to offer me, and I'm trying to see that part through.

What is far more intriguing is the other call to action: Holmes is currently seen as somewhat impeded in his work, not due to lack of interest or capacity, but because a powerful conspiracy compels him not to investigate crimes linked to them—see, they've kidnapped Watson! And Mrs. Hudson, too! And they took the life of his last maid! And if he interferes in their work, they'll off Watson too, see! So they leave a little sign at their crime scenes that they're involved, and when Sherlock sees it, he knows to back off—but it obviously aches him that, as a result, the only clue to who is involved is in those crimes themselves. So he gets to bridge that call to action now: through Amelia, who has shown herself an able investigator in her own right, she can go where he can't and help him unravel the mystery behind these crimes—crimes, he later discovers, which include the girl's mother's murder after all.

I'm giving it a shot. What fascinates me most is the show's willingness to cut a 40-minute episode not at the summation and a happy ending, but at a cliffhanger either about the case or about Amelia. The show doesn't shy away from the fact that being a young foreign girl of colour alienates you from society no matter what you do, what you know, or even who your allies are, and I am at least looking forward to more episodes of Amelia proving that she can navigate Edwardian British politics without needing to be bailed out by Holmes on the basis of their identities (even if it means settling for the obvious recurring future beats of Holmes bailing her out when her reckless behaviour puts her life at risk). She is far and away who intrigues me more—after all, you only put a character next to Sherlock Holmes to see how they emerge as their own character beside him—and I trust that will be more than enough for my interest.

I am banking more on Watson than this (no, seriously, watch Watson), but who knows.

The Leaves

So that’s all for today.

A reminder that you can help keep this newsletter and the rest of my work afloat by supporting me on Patreon, buying me a coffee on Ko-fi or sending a donation via PayPal, or by buying one of my small game projects over on Itch!

A reminder I'll offer here as I have over at the Seattle Worldcon Blog's Con-Verse segment: if you have a membership for this year's convention, you are eligible to vote for the Hugo Awards, and this year's packet contains six absolutely wonderful speculative poems for the Best Poem category, so I hope you're having fun reading and preparing your ballot!

Also, if you haven't already been reading it, you should check out To Do & Die, my new column over at Rascal News! I love thinking about TTRPGs both in my design, in my play, and in the mere conceptual act as works of art, as texts, and as markers of culture, so being given an opportunity to share some of them—especially the most ridiculous of them at times—is a blessing for which I'm incredibly grateful. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do writing them! My first piece is here!

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed the tea!